Student Narrative Writing Samples
The best way to see what Empowering Writers can do for your students is to look at what our students are able to produce. The following narrative writing samples will highlight the ways in which our methodology and materials concretely improve student writing. In this video Dea Auray, co-author of Empowering Writers, shows narrative student writing samples after instruction.
Narrative Student Writing Samples
Before & After Samples
4th Grade Student in August
“Last Saturday I went over David’s house and we played the Sega and N64 then we went outside, and played football then we went back inside and played with his Guinea Pig then we went over my house, and jumped on the trampoline for a little while then we went in my house, and played the playstation for a while then we went to Craig’s house, and played his Sega Dreamcast for a while then we went back over David’s house, and watched t.v. and then me, and Craig spent the night over David’s, and we scared his sisters by putting on scream and zombie looking masks. Me and Craig spent the night, and we stayed up all night playing games playing with his Guinea Pig, and playing his Sega DreamCast, and also playing the N64, and watching Battle Bots and cartoons.”
Same 4th Grade Student in June
“Crunch, crunch! The ruff leaves crackled under my feet. I saw tall, brown trunked trees that stood over me like giants. I heard the birds chirping soft sweet sounds that sounded like music. I felt the cool wind blowing against my checks. My nose sniffed a beautiful red rose. All of a sudden I heard a rustling sound in the bushes. I peered into the bushes. That was when I saw it! It had a dark blue dress with twinkling purple stars on it. She had rosy red checks and big blue eyes. She had a set of pale wings that shined in the sun. And in her hand was a golden wand. It was a .. a … a … FAIRY! My mouth dropped open. My eyes got big and wide. I was shocked. “Are you a fairy” I asked. “Yes” she said. “I will grant you one wish.” I thought and thought. Finally it hit me! “I wish I could go back in time to see…to see…to see the dinosaurs! “Are you sure you want to wish for that,” asked the fairy. “Yes,” I said. “OK” she said. “Your wish is granted”. Suddenly we were back in time to the dinosaurs! “Bye”, called the fairy. “wait”, I yelled. But she didn’t hear me. “I guess I’m on my own,” I said. I looked around me. Stegosauruses chomped on plants and whacked at trees with their tails. Pterodactyls flew over my head and swiped down into the water for food. Triceratops charged at rocks and protected their young. Long necked brontosauruses cooled themselves of in the stream. I climbed onto one and rode it. “Weeeee” I yelled. Suddenly we heard a loud noise. Boom, boom grrrr. All of a sudden a tyrannosaurus rex ran out of a bush. Everybody ran including me but the T-Rex saw me. He ran after me. “Ahhhh” I screamed. “Help me somebody, ahhhh, help me fairy help me!” All of a sudden the fairy appeared. “Help me fairy, help me,” I begged. The fairy waved her magic want over me. Soon I was invisible. The T-Rex turned around in the other direction to look for something else to eat. “Can I go back to my house,” I said. “But you can only have one wish” said the fairy. “Please, please, please” I said. “All right” she said. She waved her magic wand and soon I was back at my house. I felt safe and relieved that I was back home. I still remember that fairy. I wish she was still here I decided that I would never wish to go back to the dinosaur time agin.
1st Grade Sample after 2 years of Empowering Writers instruction
“One Day at the Beach” The prompt: “The waves crashed against the sand. I plopped my pack down and spread out my towel. It was going to be a wonderful day. Just then…” “My little brother pulled the towel out fro m under me and I fell face first in the sand. The hot gritty sand tasted salty. I could hear Sam laughing and I was getting madder by the minute. Suddenly I felt something moving by my cheek. When I wiped the sand off my face I saw a nest of sea turtle eggs. Baby sea turtles were hatching out of blue speckled eggs. The minute they hatched they ran right to the ocean. I forgot about my family on the beach and followed the sea turtles into the ocean. I looked down to see the bottom of the ocean and realized I had a mermaid tail. I swam with the sea turtles. We saw red coral, dolphins and angelfish. The water was blue and clear. We had fun! Suddenly I remembered my family on the beach. As I swam toward the beach my tail disappeared. I walked up on the beach and my family wondered where I had been. I laughed but never told them about my secret adventure with the sea turtles.”
Wouldn’t you love to regularly see this kind of growth in your students’ writing? Teachers benefiting from Empowering Writers training gain the specific strategies and techniques which they skillfully and confidently pass along to their students. Our wide range of resources and support materials make implementation easy, creative, and fulfilling. Why not see what Empowering Writers can do to improve your students’ writing?